Sebastian and I are going to remain friends for the time being. He got out of a year and a half long relationship during the summer and he needs time to figure himself out. I'm going to be whatever he needs me to be right now and that is a best friend. I love him so much and I know he's worth my time so I can wait.

He recognizes that he went about things the wrong way and he got upset that I was hurt. I forgive him. And since I've forgiven him, I don't want anyone else to be mad that he hurt me either. It's not a moot point.

I'm happy :)

Day Nine- A Photo you took


And THAT is why I love him.

I hope no one expected anything artistically genius from me. For some reason people assume I know how to use a camera just because I know how to use a charcoal pencil. The two don't equate.

It doesn't hurt anymore, just sometimes irks my dreams.
I guess my subconscious isn't safe, but that sort of goes without saying.
I've woken up mad, or sad, but the last couple times that got canceled out by something better.

I think it's actually going well. Distance is difficult, of course, but I think I'm handling it okay.
Jealousy hasn't gotten out of hand, or even really lasted. (It's actually kind of scary how easily/much I trust him).

I'm working on just being comfortable.
Usually when he leaves I throw myself into a frenzy because, even though everything is great, wonderful, I convince myself something is (or will be) wrong. I'm trying to stop that.
I guess in that way I don't trust him yet, but I am working on it.

We talked about...baggage. He was understanding, and he's being patient with me. I hope I am getting better, at least a little. Again, I'm trying. He makes it so...easy.

I'm so scared.

All of this is petty, and ridiculous, but it's helping me sort my head out.

One last final Tuesday, and then I'm officially on break. This semester was...interesting. Intense. Difficult. Bullshit. Full of some regrets, and several wonderful memories.

I hope my GPA is decent. It should be, but I always get so scared to check my grades. I won't have done worse than any other semester, hopefully I come out better.

I'm so excited to just be working for the next month. No assignments to take home, less stress...time to recover. The Spring will be even better, I think. My classes are good next semester, I'm feeling motivated(as of right now, anyway), and I'm happy.

So here's hoping everything doesn't go to shit, and that I can get rid of that annoying bitch in my head who keeps telling me it's going to.

Current Mood: calm
Current Music: Matt Damon

Day Seven- A photo that makes you angry/sad



Because:
I waited a million years to see my favorite band (AFI...) at Warped Tour. It was a freak accident that the drummer, Adam Carson was by the merch stand. Karl and I were so nervous to talk to him. But Karl had never used a camera phone apparently and the picture turned out super blurry. Plus, when I uploaded it, this weird grey bar showed up. It makes me angry because this was suuuuchh an awesome photo opportunity, but it got ruined. Oh well.

Day Seven- A photo that makes you happy



Because:
I love BADZ! This was such a fun day! We went over to his house for our AP art party. It was a fabulous year. He made us chicken and we saw the rotting naked bust of his wife. WE MET GADZ and he wore the "+1 shirt" shirt. RIP AP Art class '05-'06.